On August 17, 2025, our Vallat family lost a valuable member. Like the first time I began writing after letting my Achan go, writing this piece for FB is my way of dealing with grief. We had been praying continuously to all the Gods possible since July 21, the day she was hospitalised. She suffered a lot – prodded, pricked, and intubated, giving us hope one moment, only to engulf us in uncertainty the next. God denied us a miracle; he will have his reasons….
An Irreplaceable Loss.
The first time I spoke to her was at a relative’s engagement function. My cousin handed over his mobile and said, ‘She’s the one my mom has chosen for me.’ As I said hello, she replied, Sangeetha chechi, how are you? How is Suju Chetan? I was surprised at her familiarity, and from that moment on, she became a part of us, the Vallats. Our connection was extra special as her birthday and my wedding day were the same, Jun 23.
The first time I met her was at her engagement function when I officially started addressing her as Edathiamma. Three years younger, but by marrying my older cousin, she was now on par with my mother. She took her role seriously and mothered all of us, cared for all of us, old, young, aunts, uncles, children, cousins, dogs, crows, squirrels, et Al. Her home was where we could go anytime and she would welcome us with her warmth and sunny disposition. And her coffee, the best… She would make every person their own specific coffee to taste. Even if we were a group of 10 people, every person would receive individual attention. I reprimanded her and suggested she make a cauldron of coffee and serve everyone. Nope. She loved to pamper us. Each of us felt special under her nurture.
She gave the Vallats, our first set of twins, a boy and a girl. She was the best daughter-in-law any family would desire. She made my cousin, who brought her to our family, more endearing. I can never mention my cousin’s name without also mentioning his wife’s; they were inseparable.
She attended my book launch, although she was weak and sitting for an hour enervated her. But she wanted to be there, for me, for my success. Before I travelled back to Dubai on Apr 18, I met her at her home. After some time, she gently asked, ‘I am feeling tired, can I go and lie down for a bit?’ She offered to make coffee even then. When I left, she was lying on the bed, and I requested her to rest and get well soon.
I didn’t know that exactly 4 months later, on Aug 18, I would land in Chennai to see her lying on a freezer box. I didn’t know that the last time I met her was the last time I would ever speak to her. I have her voice message on my mobile, which I hold on to dearly. Her wedding day wish on Jun 23, 2025, when I wished her happy birthday, will never be deleted. Her love, her smile, her voice, her care, her coffee …..nothing will ever be forgotten by all those who have ever met her once.
I will miss you, dear edathiamma. For all the kindness and love you showered on us over the last 23 years since you married into our family, this unexpected, untimely exit from our lives and the grief you have immersed us all in… wait, until I meet you again… you have to answer my question….what was the hurry?
